I Can't Lose You
by AliciaRoseM
Summary: Gibbs and Abby face the first hurdle of their new relationship, and Gibbs learns that he must fight for her more than he has fought for anyone, and Abby must learn to trust him. Sequel to "You Make Me Feel Too Much." Rated T for now.
1. Chapter 1

Gibbs reached down and stroked the sleeping woman's hair. Abby sighed in her sleep and nestled against him. He resisted the urge to pull her into his arms and potentially wake her. Just an hour she had been so angry at him she'd broken up with him, but took it back not five minutes later, barely getting the words out through her sobs.

Gibbs had expected her to be upset, but he hadn't expected this maelstrom of emotion from her. She hadn't been happy when he'd gone to Iran, but she'd understood, and made him take a good luck charm she had made for him; a tiny, crotchet, replica of Bert the hippo, and he'd placed his dog tags around his neck and told her he'd come back safe, and be careful. When he finally came home, apart from shouting "look out!" to Gibbs when Parsons showed up in the lab, she rarely let him out of her sight until the entire deal with Mendez was over. She made him take a day off and sleep after that when she had found him fighting tears after his phone conversation with Ziva.

Tonight, when Gibbs and McGee returned from Afghanistan, was a different story. He returned to find Abby curled in a ball on the floor, crying hysterically. When she spotted him, she started yelling so much and so fast he couldn't understand it all.

"How could you, Gibbs? I heard what you did, but why? I can't lose...you went it alone, again, damnit, don't you love me?" When he walked toward her, she held out her hand. "Arrette toi! Don't!" I am boude!" Her words were broken up, and she seemed unable to string any though together.

He stopped. "Abby, nothing happened, I'm right here."

"You left..."

"I'm here now."

"J'ai gros couer."

"What are you saying, Abbs?"

"You fought all those guys by yourself! McGee told me, he was in awe, but what the hell?"

"I..."

"Is it me? Do you put yourself in danger because of me? Maybe we shouldn't be together, if this is what you're going to do?"

"Abigail Scuito!" He only just _barely _raised his voice, but she was halfway up the stairs.

"I'm getting my stuff. I need you to be home, Gibbs, but you Rodee! I'm leaving now, don't follow, if you wanted to break up you should have said, but I will. It's over."

Gibbs had stood rooted to the spot until she ran back down, with her car keys and wearing only one shoe. Tears streamed down her face. "I don't want to break up, Gibbs."

"I don't either!" He reached for her. She backed away.

"Don't. I need some time." Gibbs nodded. Abby curled on the couch, and Gibbs sat in a chair. They'd never had a fight before. Gibbs was at a loss as how to proceed. An Abby that was this upset was an unknown to him. He's always known how to comfort her, but not when he was the reason she cried like this. It wasn't long until Abby fell asleep, and Gibbs crept over to the couch and sat in front of her and just watched her. When he finally chanced it to stroke her hair, she smiled in her sleep. His fingers drifted to her soft cheek, and she sighed, and grabbed onto his silver bracelet in her sleep.

The harsh ringing of his cell phone made him jump, and startled Abby awake. She didn't let go of his bracelet, so he answered the phone with his other hand and took several minutes to update Vance on the situation. When he got off the phone, he looked over to see Abby peering at him with her large eyes.

"Vomment ca vas?" She asked.

"What was that?" He turned so he could place a one hand on her neck to support her while she sat up. He took advantage of the fact that he had stopped shouting at him to sit right next to her, and he was relieved when Abby leaned against him.

"It means how are you feeling."

"Sad, Abby. I didn't ever mean for you to get hurt."

"I know you didn't. You're a motier foux poule d'eau."

"What language was that?"

"It's Cajun. I just called you a half crazy coot."

"He chuckled. "You're not wrong. I didn't know you spoke Cajun."

"It's my first language. I mean, besides, sign language. My parents couldn't talk, and I spent as much time at my best friend's house as I did my own. I learned it there. My teachers didn't know what to do with me."

"What else did you say earlier?"

"Rodee means you are never home."

"I know it, Abbs, and I hate it. All I want is to be home with you."

"I told you I felt like crying."

"I hate that I made you cry."

"Arrete toi means stop."

"I understood that one, Abby." She snuggled against him.

"I'm sorry I yelled. I seem to do that a lot, and you never do."

S'okay."

"I'm still not happy that you put yourself in danger, Gibbs. You should have let McGee have your back. What you did was insane."

"I know it was."

"I was upset that you didn't promise to be careful before you left this time. I was upset you didn't tell me how dangerous this was going to be. I need you to promise me that I won't lose you."

Author's note: Just a short introduction to the sequel to "You Make Me Feel Too Much." I hope you enjoy it!


	2. Chapter 2

Abby did not sleep tucked firmly in Gibbs arms like she normally did. She cuddled Bert instead, and Gibbs didn't push her. He worried that a rift was developing between them, and felt heartsick. They'd always talked their problems out before, and Abby had always been understanding when he had to do something. She had been supportive when he had to share their secret cabin with the team last spring, and she had hugged him tight when he returned from Iran with Parsons. He smiled as he remembered her telling him she didn't care if he was dirty or sweaty or smelled like a plane, and he smiled at how even though he had to pull away from that hug, he had made it up to be the second he could, at home.

The week after their last case had been one of the best in their relationship. The entire team, Abby included, had been invited to the White House. Abby had been extremely nervous and almost didn't go, saying she was not elegant enough, but Gibbs persuaded her to go. He wanted her on his arm there, and knew she would regret not going. She had never met a president before, and Gibbs didn't want her to lose out on the experience. She wanted to dress must more conservatively than she ever did, so Gibbs took her shopping to find something elegant and stylish, and she was pleased with the outcome. Leyla did Abby's hair and lent her a beautiful Iraqi scarf.

Abby kept her composure while meeting the President and First Lady, but signed to Gibbs later that she was so nervous she was afraid she'd faint. Gibbs signed to her just to imagine she was hugging Bert, which brought a smile to her face. The President later thanked Abby for all the hard work she did for NCIS, and said it was people like her who made the country great, and Abby couldn't stop smiling all the way home. Gibbs treated her to ice cream later, and they took a long walk, talking and enjoying the crisp fall night. Abby had lamented they were robbed of an entire summer together.

Gibbs now turned over in bed to look at Abby. Things had always been go great between them and he loved her so much. He didn't want it to go bad because of one instance. He couldn't put a finger on it; they had been dating for less than a year, but he made it a point to tell her that he loved her daily. Last night she had asked him if he had left because he didn't love her, and it had shaken him to his core that she had broken up with him, however brief it had been. It occurred to him that Abby was different than his ex-wives or girlfriends. It had always been something like this that had initiated a breakup, and he never fought it. Now he was seized with dread over the though of the same happening with Abby. He realized he had to fight like hell for her. He couldn't stop reassuring her that he would be careful each time he was in danger. He never told her how dangerous this mission could have been.

Abby stirred and opened her eyes. Her green eyes met his blue ones. "You're awake already?"

"Yeah, Abbs."

"Did you sleep at all?"

"Some. Did you sleep well?"

"Well enough. What are you going to do today?"

"Was thinking basement. Want to start something new. I'll make you something, what would you like?"

"Oh, I don't know."

"Want to come have a look? We can decide together."

"I have errands to run, Gibbs. I need to get a haircut and get my car washed, then I have to go to Kyle's shelter. I'm helping. They have to shut it down."

"_What?"_

"They're out of money. They'd have some rolling in next month from a fundraiser they are always involved with but that's another month. They can't feed the animals this month, and they'd die. They have to send them to other shelters. They could be kill shelters, Gibbs. It just isn't fair!"

"The money from the benefit would keep it running?"

"Yeah, it usually is enough for one year, but this year it wasn't. Nobody has enough."

"How much do then need?"

"About $5000."

"Abby, I..."

"It is what it is, Gibbs. We tried to raise enough, but all my spare cash went to fixing my car last month, and Kyle's in school, it's expensive. It's going to be a hard enough day and I'm still hurting from yesterday. I need some time alone, because if I think too much I won't get through today.

"Abby, we still need to talk."

"And we will. I need time to process. Yesterday, it felt like you cared more about the job than about me, and I need to move on from that feeling."

"You know that's not true."

"I think I know that, deep down, but I just can't see my way around to think that just right now. I need to go take care of stuff today."

Gibbs recognized defeat, and Abby dressed and left. Gibbs was struck by an idea the moment the door closed, and got on the phone immediately. If he couldn't tell Abby she was his first priority, he would show her.

Gibbs heard his door slam just as he was finishing up the chili for the crockpot, which was one of Abby's favorites.

"Gibbs! Where are you?"

"Here, Abbs." He walked out of the kitchen to find Abby, breathless and flushed, with Kyle in tow.

"You did this, didn't you?"

"Did what?"

"Somebody donated $5000 to the shelter! It's saved! You're the only one who could have done it, you're the only one who knew how much they needed!"

He ducked his head. "Guilty, Abbs. I couldn't stand by and let it close." He looked up and watched several emotions chase across her face. Joy, happiness, and sadness, all rolled into one. The joy won out, and she look a running leap into his arms.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," she whispered into his neck, and he held her tightly. Any amount of money would be worth giving her and Kyle joy. The two were so alike; they appreciated people instead of money, and would never ask.

Once Abby had released her choke hold on him, Kyle wasted no time rushing over to Gibbs for a hug. The three of them ended up in huddle, and Kyle thanked Gibbs profusely for his help.

"My mom took me to volunteer in a soup kitchen then an animal shelter each year on her birthday," Gibbs said finally. "She loved animals and so do I. I had to help."

Kyle shook his hand. "Thank you, brother." Gibbs smiled widely at that. Kyle had indeed become like family to him, and Gibbs would do anything to help the younger man.

When Kyle left, Abby stayed. She looked at him with large eyes and took him by the hand and led him to the couch. "I'm ready to talk now."

"Let me start." She nodded and kicked off her shoes and sat cross-legged. "I'm sorry I scared you. It was a situation that I let get out of hand, and it could have ended badly. But I never want you to think that I don't love you more than anything, or that I wouldn't want to be with you."

"It did scare me."

"I know. This wasn't something I planned. I made a decision years ago, and I was trying to right a wrong." He explained to her about the favor Mike Franks had asked him to do years ago, and how he had declined. He told her he felt responsible for the outcome of his decision, and that he wanted Mike to be proud of him.

"Mike was always proud of you. How could he not be?"

Gibbs tugged Abby into his arms. "I love you, you know that, right?"

"I do. And I love you. I'm sorry you had to spend all that money. I will pay you back."

"Not a chance, Abbs. I did that because I wanted to, and it was the right thing. The shelter keeps animals safe and I couldn't let it close."

"I don't want you to think that I am with you for your money or that you have to keep making these grand gestures."

"Trust me, I don't. You are the least materialistic person I know."

"And you're the best person I know." Abby hid her face in his neck and yawned. Gibbs tilted her head up so her eyes met him. She looked pale, and her eyes were tired.

"Did you get enough sleep, Abbs?"

"Yeah, I though so, but I am a little tired. Work has been pretty crazy."

"Why don't you take a warm shower, put on sweats, and relax? I have chili going." Abby nodded gratefully and went upstairs. When Gibbs heard the shower turn off, he fixed a cup of tea for her. She smiled when he gave it to her, and he tenderly brushed her hair and braided in for her. She leaned against him and it wasn't long before she had snuggled into his arms for a nap.

TBC...


	3. Chapter 3

Abby recently acquired two noisy neighbors, so she mostly had been staying at Gibbs'. When he had returned from Iran in the summer and they had finally stumbled into his bed, that was one of the first things she had updated him on while sweat cooled from their bodies from their previous amorous activities. Gibbs offered to have a little chat with them and scare them straight, but she said they didn't need a heart attack.

In the days since their fight, Abby had been staying at her place more, even though they had made up. It concerned Gibbs. He had offered to do anything for her to make up for making her feel like she wasn't important to him, and she had fun with it. She had made him make her waffles the morning after they talked, and asked him to get another tattoo. He told her to pick, and she chose on of her own. Gibbs now had a matching infinity tattoo on his right bicep. Abby always kissed him there, so he knew she loved where he got it. Gibbs now had three tattoos; the Marine Corps insignia on his back, a stick angel for Abby above his heart, and now the infinity symbol. Abby joked that he was on his way to having as many as she did.

"Don't count on it, Abbs. Not when you get a new one every year." For Gibbs' birthday in August, she had done the same thing he had done on her birthday. She had gotten a tatoo for him. The Marine Corps Insignia now was tattooed onto her side.

Gibbs called her before he went to bed tonight to check up on her. She assured him she was fine, just tired, and that he wasn't the reason she was staying at her own apartment tonight.

"What about the loud neighbors, Abbs?"

"Think they got in trouble. A lot of people in this building are serious students."

"You'll tell me if they start again?"

"I will." She yawned. "Are you going in tomorrow?

"The whole team is, but only for a while. We have to catch up on paperwork. If there is a call out it should go to Balboa. You shouldn't have to go in."

"Good, stop by after?"

"'Course I will." We can see a movie and go to dinner. The Italian place you like so much?"

"Hmm. Yes, please. Can't wait." She yawned again.

"Night, Abbs. I love you."

"Love you too."

By eleven A.M. Gibbs was about ready to take a match to the paperwork. DiNozzo had started talking to himself, and Gibbs had unwittingly replied twice. When Gibbs' cellphone rang, everyone jumped.

"Yeah, Gibbs."

"Gibbs?"

"Hey, Abbs."

"Gibbs, I..."

"Abby, what's wrong?"

"I need your help?" She phrased it like a question.

"Abby? Talk to me!" He was starting to get scared.

"I'm in the hospital. Please, I need you!"

Gibbs' blood ran cold. "Hospital, Abbs? What's wrong? What happened?" He had knocked his coffee on the floor, and McGee and Dinozzo had frozen, staring at him.

"Can you just come, please?"

"On my way, Abbs." She told him which hospital and room number, and Tony had shooed him out the door, assuring Gibbs he would get the work done.

Gibbs drove like a maniac to get there, with a cacophony of blaring car horns in his wake. When he arrived at the hospital and parked, he ran all the way to Abby's room. She was propped up on pillows, and her fingers clutched her blanket. Gibbs was by her side in a flash. When he delicately put his arms around her, she buried her face in his neck. She was freezing, and shaking. She began to cry softly.

"What happened, sweetheart?" Gibbs whispered in her ear.

"You'll get mad."

"Won't get mad."

"Promise?"

"You can tell me anything."

"I was pregnant, but I had a miscarriage."

"_What?!"_

"I'm so sorry."

The doctor walked in at that second to get her blood pressure and start another I.V. He explained to Abby that she had lost a lot of blood, but would not need any more if the were lucky. Gibbs asked him what happened, and when Abby nodded, he explained that Abby's baby did not develop normally, and she had a catastrophic miscarriage at almost five months. It might have killed her, if Abby's neighbor had not gotten her to the E.R. so quickly, even before she miscarried. Gibbs only half listened to the doctor's medical talk. He rubbed Abby's back. They wanted to keep her overnight. Abby didn't like the idea, but Gibbs told her it was for the best, and she finally agreed.

Something had clicked for Gibbs. It made sense to him now that she had been so much more emotional about him going to the Middle East for the second time. It also explained why Abby's appetite had changed recently, and why she seemed to be eating more lately. If he thought about it, he hadn't seen her drink any alcohol at all lately. He wondered what she had been doing with the Caf-Pows he still brought her, because she would not drink a lot of caffeine if she was pregnant.

Her being pregnant also explained why she hadn't let him carry her around anymore, which she always loved. Sometimes while working in the basement she used to come down to visit him, and wrap her legs around his waist and giggle at him while he tried to work like that, until he stopped working and kissed her instead. No wonder she had seemed so pale and exhausted lately. Gibbs cursed himself for not noticing anything wrong or different, even is she hadn't started to show. She _had_ been wearing looser clothing lately too, which wasn't odd because she normally wore his tee shirts at home anyway.

"Five months, Abbs? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was scared to. What if you were upset, and didn't want this? We didn't plan it, and we're not married. You are a traditionalist, Gibbs."

"_Abby. _That doesn't matter. You know I will always take care of you, no matter what." He hugged her as tightly as he dared, and she burrowed in. "I can't help but think that it's my fault, for stressing you out so much."

"It was not your fault! It was always going to be this way. The doctor said I should not try to have more children. This did too much damage. Now I am scared that you do want kids and you won't want me anymore."

"Abby." Gibbs' voice was firm. "You _know_ that is not going to happen, ever. You're the one thing I can't live without. The one thing I can't lose."

"You won't lose me." He hugged her again. "I asked the doctor if I did something wrong, that caused this, and he said no. He said that because I kept living normally and kept myself strong that it most likely saved my life." She looked at him with plaintive eyes.

"Abbs?"

"Jethro?" she asked sleepily.

"Did you not tell me because you didn't think you could trust me?"

"I don't know." She hid her face in his chest.

"You can always trust me. No matter what."

"K." She was falling asleep, thanks to pain medication. Gibbs soothed her into it by rubbing her back. When she had fallen into a deep sleep he snuck out. He returned with a large bouquet of red roses, a heated blanket, and a stuffed turtle. Abby loved turtles. He hooked up and placed the blanket around her, and placed the turtle in her arms, which she snuggled. He sat down next to her and read a book he had in his truck, keeping an eye on her. When she awoke several hours later, she smiled up at Gibbs.

"I'm so warm. Did my gunny have something to do with that?" She held up her turtle. "He's so cute! Thank you, Gibbs!"

"Anytime. How do you feel?"

"Ok, I guess. I hate pain meds."

"I do too." He sat next to her on the bed so she could lean against him at she sat up. Gibbs turned on her TV and they watched a few episodes of M.A.S.H. before a nurse turned up with Abby's dinner, and a sandwich for Gibbs. He thanked the nurse and helped Abby eat. Much to Abby's consternation. She had to take more pan medication. After a bathroom visit and another checkup from a doctor, Gibbs read to her for awhile. By 8 at night she was sacked out, and Gibbs called his team to tell them Abby was still fine. He had called Tony earlier, but it was rushed. Gibbs called his dad next. Jack answered on the first ring, and talked to his son for half an hour, and reminded Gibbs that Abby loved him more than anything and trusted him, even if she didn't know it yet.

Abby stirred awake at six in the morning. Gibbs slept on the couch in her room, and he woke when she did. He felt so in tune with her right now, and went right to her side. A nurse turned up to help Gibbs help Abby to the bathroom,, and brought her breakfast. She couldn't eat it all, and offered Gibbs the rest. The doctor signed her out at 9, giving Gibbs instructions to take her home, keep her warm, and to make sure she got plenty of fluids and rest. Gibbs insisted on wheeling her to her truck. He wrapped the blanket he had got for her around her, and she held her flowers and turtle. Once he had lifted her into his truck, Abby used his phone to call her neighbor, Susan, to let her know she was ok and that Gibbs was taking her to his house. Susan had to catch a plane to California the previous night and was going to cancel the flight to stay with Abby, but Abby insisted Gibbs was on his way. Gibbs took the phone at the end of the call to thank Susan for taking such good care of his girl. Susan responded that Abby was a joy to live next to and always lent a hand when Susan needed a hand. Gibbs smiled.

Gibbs had the hospital call her prescription to his favorite small pharmacy, and had her wait in the car while he picked them up. Inside, he also found a pair of gray and black satin sleep pants with skulls on them for Halloween. He got a pair for Abby, and her eyes lit up when she saw them.

"I'm the luckiest girl in the world to have you, Gibbs."

TBC...


	4. Chapter 4

When they arrived home, Abby went straight for a warm shower, and Gibbs went to work arranging a comfortable spot for her on the couch. He hooked the heated blanket up, and washed and filled up the water jug the hospital have given her. When Abby came down from her shower, she was wearing the pajama pants he gave her along with one of his black sleep shirts, which swamped her. She looked absolutely gorgeous, and Gibbs pulled her into a hug. He felt her relax against him.

"You hungry?" She shook her head. Gibbs motioned for her to sit down, but she pushed him down on the couch so he was sitting first so he was cradling her. "Abbs..." He wanted to have a serious talk with her.

Instead, she shifted so she could reach his lips with her own, and kissed him lightly. Gibbs kissed her back, softly, for several minutes. He decided to let her avoid the issue for a while because he knew that she must be feeling terrible, and scared. His first priority was to take care of her, but he wanted to let her know how committed he was to her before long. When Abby deepened the kiss he allowed it, but pulled back when her fingers drifted under his shirt.

"Abby,wait, no, you're hurt."

She rested her head against her neck. "Kiss, me, Gibbs, please, I just need that you are here and you're not going to leave."

"I'm not going to leave." His voice came out in a whisper, and he leaned down to kiss her again. They lost track of the time they spent kissing each other deeply but tenderly until Gibbs' cell phone vibrated. He answered it to talk to Jack, who asked to talk to Abby. Gibbs admitted to her that he had told Jack before handing it over, and she smiled and reached for the phone. From her end of the conversation it was clear that Jack was telling Abby that he loved her like a daughter and had been worried. She assured Jack that Gibbs was taking good care of her, and Abby told Jack she loved him too before the call ended.

Gibbs laid back and Abby rested her cheek against his heart. Gibbs turned on the TV and they spent the rest of the afternoon cuddling and watching movies. Abby had talked him into The Princess Bride and Gibbs ended up enjoying it. When Abby's stomach rumbled at five, Gibbs convinced her to eat a grilled cheese and tomato soup, and had her take her medicine, which she tried to resist. He gave her a stern look, and she melted when he whispered that he would take care of her. Abby insisted on giving him a shoulder massage and would not take no for an answer. He found that sleeping on the couch in the hospital had given him knots. Abby had him sit on the floor in front of him while she worked those knots out, and the leaned his head back on her knees. Abby routinely made Gibbs sit down for a back rub, and each Friday or Saturday night she treated him to a full on massage while he laid on his stomach on the bed. She'd tell him he wasn't allowed to take care of everything she needed and not let her return the favor. Gibbs bit back a grown when her fingers hit a bad knot, and she lightly caressed the spot to ease him into it. She used one hand to scrape her nails through his hair and down his scalp. When Gibbs asked her if she needed her back rubbed, she told him to stay. He loved how she cared for him; he hadn't had somebody do so since Shannon.

Abby yawned, and Gibbs stood up despite her protests. "You should get some rest, Abbs."

"Yeah. Wanna be ready for work tomorrow."

"Work, Abbs? You're not going in."

"But you are."

"Like hell I am. i called Vance and told him you were sick and he offered to fire me if I was seen in the office for the next few days."

Abby giggled, then looked at him, concerned. "Do they know?"

He knew "they" meant the team and Vance. He shook his head. "No, only Jack knows. It's up to you whether to tell them or not. I was thinking we should tell Ducky, so he can check up on you if you want him too."

"Good idea."

"You warm enough? Would you like a fire?"

She nodded. It was 30 degrees, not too cold, but Gibbs knew that she had been colder than usual. He quickly had a fire roaring, and they snuggled back on the couch for another movie. When Gibbs asked Abby if she needed anything, she timidly replied "ice cream." so they shared a large bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream. When Abby began to nod off against Gibbs' shoulder, he finally let him carry her upstairs. When she finished in the bathroom, she fell asleep almost right away. Gibbs laid next to her but he didn't hold her because he didn't want to accidentally wake her.

Gibbs couldn't sleep. He went back downstairs so he wouldn't disturb her and poured a glass of bourbon and sat in his arm chair reading. Or, he tried to read. Now that he had a minute to think, he was feeling guilty. It tore him up that he hadn't noticed anything different about Abby, even though the signs were all there. She had gained a bit of weight but Gibbs had equated it to the fact she had been eating more, so he didn't think anything of it. He actually hadn't seen her drink an entire Caf-Pow in a long time, which should have been a warning sign. When Gibbs had gone to Mexico for several months years ago for "retirement" Abby had started eating more too, so he thought she was eating more this time because she missed him. Even though Abby had complained when he returned from Iran that they were robbed of their summer together, he hadn't actually been gone for a long time. He put his head in the hand that didn't contain his glass of bourbon. What kind of partner was he to Abby, that he didn't notice she was pregnant, ant that she didn't feel safe telling him?

When he looked up, Abby was standing in front of him. She wordlessly plucked the glass of bourbon from his hand and placed it on a table, and crawled into his lap. She rubbed his cheek with her hand. "I can see what you're thinking, and don't."

"Abby?"

"This wasn't your fault. You couldn't have known. I wasn't even really showing yet, and I never had morning sickness, really. Please don't beat yourself up."

"I Just wish you hold told me, Abbs."

"I was so scared. If I had told you it would have made it really real for me. You are so great and I know you would have been by my side and helped me take care of our child, but this wasn't something I planned. I was scared I would be a bad mother. I'm not like other women, Gibbs. I would have wanted to keep working, and it's not like I would ask you to stop working either, since you matter so much."

"Are you feeling relieved?"

"No, not relieved. If the baby had lived he or she would have been in so much pain all it's life so maybe I am a little relieved he doesn't have to suffer."

"That's my girl. Always so compassionate."

"Are you mad?"

"At you? Never."

"Is a child what you wanted?"

"I want you."

"Is that all? Gibbs I want to make sure you have everything you need."

"I do, Abby, believe me. I have you, I have my dad, I have the team, and I have Leyla and Amira and my Marine buddies and Kyle and Luca..."

"I like how everything that matters to you most is a person. You're so wonderful, Gibbs." She yawned widely. He smiled slightly and tried to move.

"Let's go upstiars, Abbs."

"Nah, I am ok here."

"You sure?"

"It's good, that we're talking. I know you wanted to earlier but I freaked."

"You didn't freak." Abby giggled at Gibbs' use of the word "freak."

"Kinda did. Gibbs, you spent yesterday and today making sure I was taken care of. What are you feeling? Are you ok?"

"I felt really scared. You looked so pale in that hospital bed yesterday, and I'm scared I won't take care of you well enough now."

"You always do."

"Do I?"

"Yeah, you do. Tell me honestly, Gibbs, did you want a child ever?"

"I'd though about it. Abby, if that is something you want we can still find a way."

"Can I tell you something?"

"You can tell me anything?"

"When I found out I was pregnant, I was really scared. I didn't feel ready, and we're not married, and I was worried about what the Sisters would have thought. I still wanted to work, and I was scared I would be a bad mom. When this happened yesterday I felt really guilty and I felt like I had willed myself into it, even though I did want the baby."

"Shannon felt the same way when she found out she was pregnant."

"She did?!"

'She was worried she would make a bad mom. She worked in a bookstore, up until, well, she said she didn't want to stop working, and I didn't ask her to. She said she was scared of losing herself."

"But she didn't, did she?"

"Not a bit. Kelly spent time with her at her work and it made her really smart, I think. She turned out great, and Shannon was a great mom." Gibbs was surprised about how easy it was to talk about his family with Abby. He never spoke about them with any of his exes, and any mention of them was met with what felt like bitterness. Abby, however, seemed interested in them and spoke highly of them, and had once said that she loved them because they made Gibbs the amazing man he was now.

"I went to work with my parents too! My mom worked with deaf children with the school, and my dad was a mechanic. Really good too."

"So that's where you learned so much about cars!"

"Yeah."

"I love that I keep learning new things about you, Abby. You are so intelligent and interesting, and you keep me on my toes and you keep my life from getting dull. Besides Shannon, you are the only one who has understood that I hafta build stuff to get my mind off the job and my own fears and pain."

She tucked her head in his neck. "And I love how you are always there for me no matter how many times I mess up, and I love that you care about my family as much as I do. What you did for Kyle, Gibbs, you are the best person I know."

"Abby, spending some money to save some animals at a shelter pales in comparison to all you do. You volunteer to feed the homeless for your church, you help wounded veterans, and you help me at the Children's Hospital. You do so much for so many people. You're the best person I know."

"If I'm the best you know and you're the best I know then we go good together."

"Sure do. Couldn't agree more."

Abby failed to stifle another jaw-popping yawn. "Bed," said Gibbs firmly.

"Aren't you going to finish that?" She pointed at his bourbon.

"No, Abbs. Going to make sure you are ok. Are you hungry? Do you need any advil?"

"No, I'm good. Just go with me upstairs. Gibbs swept her into his arms again, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. By the time he brought her to his room, she had already nodded off. He slipped her back into bed, and she woke and looked at him with hooded, sleepy eyes. "You had better hold me this time."

"Yes, ma'am. "

TBC...


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning Gibbs woke alone. He sat straight up and looked at the clock on the nightstand. 9:30. Abby's things were still in the room and her stuffed turtle had been on the pillow next to Gibbs' face, and somehow he had ended up holding Bert. Once Gibbs stood up, crossed the room and opened the door, he smelled bacon. He found Abby cooking breakfast. She looked far less pale than yesterday, and gave him a bright smile. She wore her hair in a ponytail. Gibbs walked over to her and tugged lightly on her ponytail. She turned and tickled him, but ran before he could catch her to turn off the bacon before it burned. She wore his old Stillwater High t-shirt and a pair of his boxers.

"You feeling alright?"

"Much better."

"I'm sorry I slept so late. I would have made you breakfast."

"You needed the sleep. After everything you have done for me, this is the least I could do. Besides, your stomach kept rumbling."

"No, it didn't."

"Yes it did! Like a big bear!"

He chuckled and tickled her sides, and she squealed. "What do you need help with?"

She handed him a cup of coffee and pointed at the table. "Sit. I am almost done."

"I can help, Abbs."

"Sit. That's an order, Marine."

She called him "her Marine" or "her Gunny" all the time and it fit. She was the only one he let order him around like that. She never asked for him to compromise his values, nor did she nag him. Gibbs had never been the type to hit women, even though each of his ex-wives had hurt him, physically. He'd been slapped, kicked, punched, and hit with golf clubs and baseball bats. Abby, however, was no less careful with him than he was with her. That was one of the reasons he loved and respected her so much.

Abby set a plate of eggs, bacon, hash browns, and toast in front of him. Her own plate was full too, and she had a cup of tea. Gibbs knew she wasn't feeling great still, because she wasn't stealing mouthfuls of his coffee. They ate in companionable silence and Abby used her free hand to brush her fingers through Gibbs' hair near his temple and behind his ear.

Gibbs insisted on cleaning up. Abby sat on the counter again to wait.

"I called Luca and Kyle while you were asleep."

"Yeah? Tell 'em?"

"Uh-huh."

"What they say?"

"They both were concerned. Both asked if you were taking good care of me. I told them yes, of course."

"Always will, Abbs."

"I know. I'm so lucky."

"I'm the lucky one."

"Gibbs?"

"Yeah, Abbs."

"I don't think I am ready to try again."

"He paused from drying a frying pan. "Didn't the doctor say you shouldn't try at all?"

"Well, yeah. Not that sort of try. Yesterday you said that we can find another way. I just don't know if I am ready yet, after what happened." She hung her head as if she was ashamed.

Gibbs crossed the kitchen and placed his hands on her sides. She hid her face in his neck, something she always did when scared, tired, or sad. Like his touch would make everything better. And Gibbs was determined that would always be the case. "Abbs, it's ok. We'll wait as long as you need or want. My job is to make sure that you are taken care of and loved. It's too big a sacrifice for me to ask you to do something you're not ready for."

"You're not angry? Disappointed?"

"Never."

"You know that I would have loved our baby though, right, Jethro?"

"Of course you would have. I would have, too."

She wrapped her legs around his waist. "I know."

He hugged her. "Aren't you chilly? You're only wearing shorts and a t-shirt."

"It seems right now I am wearing you." Gibbs chuckled and she tightened her hold. "Cuddle wit me on the couch?"

"Hold tight." She kept her legs around his waist as he walked with her to the living room. Gibbs and Abby settled on the couch to watch one of Gibbs' favorite shows, MASH. Abby had given him the entire series for his birthday, and remembered watching the show with her dad as a child. She loved it now too, and was just content to snuggle with Gibbs some nights and watch the show. Gibbs was queuing up the next disc since the episode they watched that afternoon was the last on the disc.

_Ding dong!_

Gibbs started at the sound of the doorbell. He was surprised; they hadn't been expecting anyone. Before he could head to the door, Abby was on her feet. Gibbs heard her squeal with delight at the sight of whomever was at the door.

"What are you doing here? I'm so happy to see you!"

Gibbs joined her to find Luca and Kyle standing there, and saw Ducky in the background getting out of his car. Kyle pulled Abby into a tight hug, and Luca did the same when Kyle was finished. Ducky got to the door and started fussing over Abby. Gibbs had called him yesterday when Abby had taken a shower.

"My dear, is Gibbs taking good care of you?"

"The best care."

"I expect nothing less, Jethro."

"I know, Duck."

Kyle and Luca, meanwhile, were grabbing up two humongous packages. One was a large cellophane wrapped basket, the other a thinner, square, large package wrapped in wrapping paper with dogs on it. Gibbs helped the two carry their burden into the living room.

"The basket is for you, Abby." Kyle brought it to where she sat on the couch. She opened it curiously.

"Is this a care package?!"

"Yup. We put it together this morning. Hope you like it." Luca sat next to his sister and squeezed her shoulders. Abby fished out the items one by one. The first thing was a blue plush robe, which she put on right away. There were copies of several of her favorite magazines, bubble bath, chocolate, her favorite teas, and a fluffy sponge. Abby thanked Kyle and Luca with tears in her eyes. It was obvious that both men were concerned about her. The three now were talking, and Abby was assuring everyone that she was safe, healthy, and ok. Ducky, meanwhile, had wandered into the kitchen to brew Abby what he called "real tea." He beckoned Gibbs to join him.

"Our Abigail is strong, but she needs you, Jethro."

"I know." Gibbs' words were soft. "I need her too."

"Did she tell you why she didn't tell you?"

"She said she was scared. I believe her, Duck. I think that she is thinking about her adoption and wondering if she has whatever it was that caused her biological parents to give her up in her too."

"Did she say that?"

"No, and I am shooting in the dark. I don't want to reopen that wound. I don't want to push her." Abby had confided in the doctor that she knew who her real parents were, Kyle's parents, after she told Gibbs. Ducky had been comforting to her in his quiet, unassuming way, and Gibbs was grateful to his friend.

"I am expecting you to be by her side if she ever does confront them."

"You know I will be."

"How is she taking her loss?"

"She's been strong, but I know she's hurting, and disappointed. She's also feeling a bit guilty, because she wasn't ready for this, and she thinks she caused the miscarriage. I talked her down from that."

"Good for you, my friend. That sweet girl is so special."

"I'm feeling guilty myself. I didn't notice something had changed with Abby."

"I didn't see it either, Jethro. Abby wouldn't be the type to let a pregnancy slow her down and wouldn't make a scene. Don't do that to yourself."

"Thanks, Duck." The two men exchanged a brief hug. When they exited the kitchen, it was to find a smiling Abby waiting for them. She gave a little jump and grabbed Gibbs' arm. it reminded him of a time when she had done the same thing to him in the evidence garage at NCIS and had waited right in front of the elevator for him, and had grabbed him immediately. He smiled warmly at her.

"Kyle brought you something, Gibbs!" She pointed at the wrapped present. "Open it open it open it! I can't wait until you see it!"

"Excited, Abbs?" Gibbs said dryly, and she pulled him until he was in front of the object. Gibbs unwrapped it to find a collage, which had been framed. There was a picture of each animal that currently lived at the shelter. Next to each picture was each animals paw print, in paint. There was also a hand print for several of the volunteers and workers, including Kyle's. Each person signed next to their hand print. Large lettering spelled out, "Thank you for saving our home, Gibbs. We woof you!" At the end of the words, there was one set of lip prints, in bright red lipstick, blowing a kiss. The collage had been painstakingly and lovingly done, and Gibbs was touched. "I don't know what to say, Kyle. It's beautiful."

"It's the least we could do. I'm glad you like it."

Gibbs and Kyle hung the picture over a chair in his living room, where it could be viewed easily. Gibbs took a moment to look over his living room. It was homier than he remembered ever seeing it. The mantle now contained pictures instead of piles of books. He had even put a picture of Shannon and Kelly up. The other pictures on the mantle were of Abby, Leyla with Amira, and one of his entire team. The large, framed picture that now hung over the fireplace was one taken of Abby and Gibbs at their White House dinner. Abby had worn a beautiful dress, and Gibbs a suit, and both were beaming. Gibbs had also gotten more lighting in the living room and dining room. Each visitor he had had since the improvements had remarked on how nice it looked.

Ducky, Kyle, and Luca stayed for another hour before needing to head off in their various directions. Abby said she'd like to have a bath, since she was sore from where she had been poked with needles at the hospital and from her IV. She did have a large bruise were the IV had been. Gibbs drew the bath for her and added lots of the peony bubble bath the boys had brought. Gibbs sat on the toilet while she bathed and read to her. She relaxed with the warm water and Gibbs' soothing voice. When Gibbs thought she might fall asleep, he would tickle her neck. When she finished with the bath Gibbs wrapped her in a fluffy towel to dry her off. Abby put Gibbs' shirt back on and a warm pair of her pajama pants, and donned the robe.

Abby expressed interest in watching more MASH, so Gibbs started another fire and they spent the afternoon cuddling. It had turned into a rainy day, and Gibbs was glad that they both were getting some rest. When Gibbs asked Abby what she wanted to eat, she said she was craving pizza, so Gibbs ordered some. When it came, Gibbs took out paper plates and Abby ate hungrily. He hoped it was a good sign that she had an appetite.

When they finished eating, Abby braved calling a few of her friends, including Carol, to tell them what happened. Carol asked to talk to Gibbs and begged him to take care of her "best sister" and Gibbs assured Carol he was, and Carol promised to bake him a cake. Abby giggled and giggled until Gibbs asked her what was up and she replied that each time Carol made a cake for an adult, it was anatomically correct cake. Gibbs burst out laughing at the thought, and the two shared a good laugh. Gibbs was thrilled to see her happy smile again.

She fell asleep in his arms, and he carried her to bed again. He went back downstairs to lock up and clean up. When he re entered his room, she was sitting up.

"I waited for you, Gibbs."

"Wasn't gone long."

"Don't be gone ever."

"I won't be, Abbs, not by choice."

She let out a huge yawn. "I'll take it." Gibbs climbed into bed and she nestled into his arms immediately. "I know you didn't want to leave, and I know you didn't want to take your life into your hands." "The conversation had come out of left field, and Gibbs knew her insecurities liked to pop up when she was tired.

"You're my life now, Abby."

TBC...

Author's note: GO BRONCOS!


	6. Chapter 6

Abby felt well enough to go back to work two days later. Gibbs reluctantly agreed with the provisions that she tell him if she needed a break, and that she wouldn't sleep in the lab. He also requested that she drink less Caf-Pow each day. He had balked at the thought of telling Abby what to do, but this time she smiled at him and thanked him for being so sweet.

Gibbs visited Abby in the lab to check up on her often. He had started bringing her juice in Caf-Pow cups, so their routine wouldn't be disrupted. It had always brought a smile to her face when Gibbs arrived with her favorite drink in hand, and Gibbs wanted that to continue. They both doted on each other. Gibbs would make sure Abby slept well, and had convinced her to get a few doctor's check-ups, just to make sure. Abby made him his favorite meal, her lasagne, one day when she got off work much earlier than he did. She had set the table with china, roses, and champagne. Gibbs grinned when he saw it, and when he asked what the occasion was, she said she wanted to celebrate him. That night he made love to her; the first time since he had gotten back from Afghanistan. He was careful with her; afraid she might break. The tenderness he treated her with brought tears of joy to her eyes, and she held him close and after their releases she wouldn't let him leave her.

Abby and Gibbs faced two more slight hurdles through October. The first was when Abby seemed like she might be jealous of Delilah, McGee's girlfriend. When Gibbs brought it up in the car on the way home, Abby chalked it up to the fact that she didn't think Delilah liked her at first, and Abby thought she was snooty when they first met. Gibbs said outright he had been shaken in the lab earlier, but when the two girls took a shine to each other he had relaxed immensely. Abby placed her hand on his shoulder as he drove, and reminded him that she could only ever love him. Gibbs was so relived that he pulled the car over, just to kiss her.

The second hurdle happened when Abby Borin helped again with a case. The two Abbys had met at Gibbs' house, when Borin was coming up the basement stairs and Abby had just arrived. Borin gave her a hug and bade her a goodnight, and left. Abby found Gibbs in his basement looking a little forlorn.

"Hey."

He looked up. "Hey." He motioned that she should join him on the sawhorse.

"Why the long face?"

"I asked Borin to join NCIS but she turned me down."

"She doesn't want to?"

"Nah."

"Gibbs, do you...?" Abby's voice wavered.

His eyes widened. "God, no! It's not that. It's...complicated."

"Complicated?"

He realized he was digging a hole. "She's a friend. I asked her to join because, well, she really reminds me of Ziva at times. I miss Ziva, Abbs."

"I miss her too." She hugged Gibbs tightly.

"Besides, the team needs a fourth. If Borin joined, I wouldn't have to send her to FLETC, or train her from the ground up. I didn't have to do that with Kate or Ziva and both were what the team needed."

"Look at it this way, Gibbs. If Borin did join, you would have to put up with her and Tony, all day, every day, trying to out do each other and claim the senior Agent title. It'd be a nightmare! If you thought Kate and Tony fought..."

Gibbs laughed. "That is true."

She jumped up. "I've got another bone to pick with you!"

"What's that?"

"_You_ were the one pranking everyone! You messed with the lab! You put that noisemaker into autopsy! You wrapped McGee's desk and put weight in Tony's bag!"

He shot her a guilty look that in no uncertain terms meant he wasn't feeling guilty at all. When the corners of his mouth turned up in a grin, she pounced on him. He steadied her so they wouldn't fall.

"Gibbs! You sneaky devil!"

"C'mon, Abby, it was funny." She tickled him and she snorted with laughter.

"You're the only one allowed to mess with my lab. I find anyone else doing it, Gibbs, I'll set you on them."

"You're the only one allowed to mess with my coffee or tickle me."

"I think you should have a punishment. Just a little one."

"Oh?"

"Come with me to Carol's Halloween party. You don't have to dress up, just come."

"Think I can manage that. What's your costume, Abbs? 

"Harley Quinn."

Gibbs grinned. "You'll be perfect."

They didn't catch a case before Halloween. Gibbs helped Abby decorate her lab, and Abby had plenty of time to get her costume ready. She overtook Gibbs' bathroom to get ready for the party, and when she finally emerged she went looking for Gibbs. When she didn't find him downstairs waiting for her, ready to go, she was puzzled. She always teased him about the fact that he was always ready to leave before everyone else was, and had a habit of showing up early. She called down the basement stairs for him, and when he didn't appear from there, she went back upstairs.

"Looking for me?" Abby whirled around, and shrieked.

"Gibbs! You didn't!"

He had dressed as The Joker, complete with the makeup.

"Thought this might work," he said almost shyly.

"You look incredible! So sexy!" She hugged him carefully. Gibbs decided to call a cab for them instead of driving, and the entire ride to Carol's house they kept stealing glances at each other and smiled. Carol was giddy with excitement when she spied the pair.

"You two look so great! I want a picture!" They posed and Carol snapped the picture. That is so going on Facebook!"

"Whatbook?" Gibbs asked, and both girls dissolved into giggles.

"I'll show you at home." Gibbs helped Carol lug in large cases of water and soda, and Abby took inside the cake and snacks they had brought. The party was in full swing shortly after, and Abby flitted around taking pictures. She seemed to take more of Gibbs than anyone else. They won Carol's annual prize for best dressed team, and Gibbs enjoyed helping hand out candy when the trick-or-treaters came around.

When Gibbs saw Abby fail to stifle one yawn, then another, he signed to her to ask her if she wanted to go. She signed "yes" gratefully, and Gibbs made their excuses and called a cab. He had plans to take her for ice cream, but she fell asleep against her shoulder in the cab. She woke when Gibbs picked her up to carry her up the stairs to his house. Even tired, she begged Gibbs to watch her favorite Halloween movie with her, _Hocus Pocus. _Each showered before the movie, and Gibbs brushed Abby's hair into a braid while they watched.

Gibbs' team was granted a three day weekend, and Gibbs took advantage to work on a project in his basement on Friday. Abby spent the day reading and doing laundry. Around 3 PM, Abby flew into his basement with her ipad, and thrust it at Gibbs. He stopped working on the new bed for Amira's Christmas present, and Abby showed him her Facebook. He laughed at the funny pictures on her page, but admitted he didn't know much about stuff like this. She told him she would make a page for him, and he just rolled his eyes.

"What would I do with it, Abbs?"

She giggled. "You have a point."

"Wanna help with the bed?"

Abby nodded eagerly. Gibbs held her steady while she used the block plane, and showed her how to sand correctly. He worked on carving intricate details into the headboard, and Abby talked him into signing his name in a corner, and he agreed, but had her sign her name too.

"What color should this be, Abbs?"

"Don't make it pink. I think she's outgrowing pink."

"Purple?"

"Do it blue, like the color of your eyes. That's the best color, and Amira likes blue."

"We'll look for paint tomorrow."

"I can't wait for Christmas! Will you go ice skating with me before Christmas?"

"Slow down, Abbs, it's not Thanksgiving yet! You'll drive yourself crazy!"

"Drive you crazy, you mean."

"Naw."

"I want to knit people scarves this year for Christmas."

"You should do it."

Abby helped Gibbs with his project for several hours, and the two watched a movie and snuggled after. Abby wouldn't let Gibbs take a shower, telling him she loved when he smelled like sawdust.

When Gibbs' dad showed up unexpectedly during their next case Abby sensed that Gibbs needed some time alone with his dad, and used the time to catch up on errands and spent time with her friends. Gibbs hadn't asked her to do that, but was grateful she had so Jack wouldn't have to have her see him at a lower, more stressful point. Jack had taken it differently, however. Gibbs was shaken when Jack, in essence, had asked him if he was lonely. He had made a point to mention to Jack that Abby stayed with him most nights, or he stayed with her.

Gibbs asked Abby to stay with him and Jack on the last night before Gibbs was going to take Jack home, and she agreed happily. Jack had been thrilled with the gift she had given to Gibbs for Jack; a pair of cuff links she had made for her own dad, fashioned out of spent shell casings. Jack loved them, and waited by the door to give her a bear hug and a thank you the second she walked in the door.

Gibbs told Abby the story of the day's events while Jack warmed up with a hot shower. When Gibbs told her that Jack had said Gibbs was the best person he knew, Abby nodded in agreement.

"Well, he's right. You're the best person I know too."

"It's just...I really messed up before. I spent too long not speaking to him, years, really. I don't think I'll ever forgive myself, even if he did."

She hugged him. "Don't. He knows how much you love him. Besides, you talk for hours each Sunday, right? Not everyone does that now."

He shrugged. "I guess you're right."

"Are you hungry? I'll make gumbo!"

Gibbs grinned. "Jack will love that! What can I do to help?"

"Go spend some time with your dad. This won't take too long."

"Wanna hitch a ride with me to drop off my dad tomorrow? My Marine buddy Joe is going to give me a lift home by helicopter."

"Gibbs! Riding in a helicopter is on my bucket list!"

"Take that as a yes?"

"Hell yes!" Abby threw her arms around his neck to kiss him. He put his arms around her waist to lift her off her feet and swing her around. She giggled, and sent him on his way to the living room with two beers when they heard Jack come back downstairs.

"I'm glad Abby stayed tonight, son."

"Me too. See, dad, I'm not lonely."

"I worry about you."

"It's you that lives alone, dad."

"Son, I'm not lonely. I have lots of friends."

"I don't want you driving anymore, dad. I need you safe. If you need anything call me, or call L.J."

"They opened a new put-put golf place in Stillwater. L.J. and I take Betty's grandkids each Saturday."

"I bet they love that."

"They do."

"Have you considered what we talked about? You moving here?"

"You and I both know that we are too stubborn to live together."

Gibbs laughed heartily. "Abby wouldn't let us fight."

"Or she'd use her puppy dog expression on you that always seems to melt you."

"Hey!"

"Just calling it like I see it, son. Now where is that sweet girl?"

"Making you a special dinner."

Abby walked into the living room just then and sat a large bowl of gumbo, salad, and corn bread in front of Jack, who smiled."

"This looks spectacular. What's the special occasion?"

"You are!" Abby smiled brightly and bounded back into the kitchen, and Gibbs followed her to help her bring the remaining bowls in. The three sat eating and talking until Jack seemed to get tired, so Gibbs cleaned up while Abby helped Jack get settled for the night. When Gibbs entered his room, it was to find Abby cross-legged in the middle of the bed, writing on nice stationary.

"What you writing, Abbs?"

"Nothing, really." She put the paper in her computer bag and settled back on the pillows. Gibbs brushed his teeth and climbed into bed next to Abby so they could snuggle. She rested her head right under his and threw his legs over his, and he placed his hands on her back and rubbed small circles, which put her to sleep. Gibbs followed not long after.

Gibbs woke in the night, needing the bathroom. The moonlight was bright so he didn't think he needed a light on until he tripped right over Abby's computer bag, and it tipped over. The paper she had been writing dumped out, and Gibbs couldn't help but notice the writing.

_Dear Walter, _the letter began. Gibbs knew he shouldn't, but he kept reading.

_My name is Abby Scuito. I am Leroy Jethro Gibbs' girlfriend. I know that he and Jack came to see you, and I wanted to add something. Jack told you that Gibbs was the best person he knew, and I agree. He has done so much to help other people, but I want to start with what he has done for me. The way he has treated me before, and after, we started dating has been the best I have ever been treated. If he had never helped another person but me, what you did, making him possible, would have been worth it. He saved me, and saved my heart. I've never known love like that since Gibbs came into my life._

_When you look back on your life, know this; you made possible a man who has comforted grieving, and brought killers and bad people to justice. He has taken children who were not his under his wing and helped them grow, learn, and love. His goddaughter is one loved little girl. Gibbs has given hope to people who thought they had nothing left, and if he is your friend, he will be loyal for life._

The letter ended there. By that time, tears were pouring down his face. Abby woke slowly to find him sitting in a chair, clutching the letter. He looked at her and a guilty expression crossed his face.

"I'm sorry, Abby, I didn't mean to, I tripped over it, and this fell out, and I'm...sorry."

She got out of bed and stood next to him. "It's ok. I couldn't seem to find the right words, about how much you mean."

"Abby, these words are perfect." He pulled her into a hug."

"It's clear that Walter has regrets about the war. I want him to know that his life and meaning and he did the right things, even if he fought on a side he didn't want to fight on."

"He did the right thing by saving an American he didn't even know."

"I'll spend the rest of my life being grateful to him."

"So will I."

"We should get some sleep. Early morning."

When Gibbs returned from the bathroom, this time Abby was the one who put him to sleep by rubbing his shoulders lightly. By the time he woke, Jack had cooked breakfast and Abby had helped him put his bags in his truck. Gibbs didn't take long to eat and get ready, and they were off. Abby didn't mind being smushed in the middle of the two men in Jack's truck while Gibbs drove. She gabbed to Jack for most of the way, and Gibbs occasionally joined in the conversation. When they reached Stillwater, L.J. met them and treated them to a late lunch. Gibbs made sure Jack's woodpile was stocked, his pipes in working order, and his house well-insulated. The three hugged goodbye, and L.J. game them a lift to the small airfield twenty minutes away from Stillwater, where they met Joe. The bade L.J. farewell, who promised to look after Jack.

Abby didn't stop smiling the entire helicopter ride, and Gibbs enjoyed himself too. He usually had taken a ride in one on his to or away from a case, so he found himself just enjoying this ride, and he helped Abby snap pictures. By the time they landed in D.C., she was giddy. After all they had been through lately, it warmed his hear to see her smiling so brightly.

TBC...

A/N RIP Ralph Waite! I'm so bummed.


	7. Chapter 7

The Christmas season snuck up on Gibbs and Abby. November flew by, with Gibbs hosting Thanksgiving again. Christmas was closing in, and this year Gibbs was looking forward to it. It had been a stressful year, and on top of it all his truck finally died, really died, and he hadn't had the time to replace it. He had been borrowing one of the NCIS cars, since the charger wasn't always ideal in snowstorms, and Abby's car was worse. Even before they started dating, Gibbs would pick Abby up when it snowed a lot, so she wouldn't have to drive.

Abby patiently worked on her knitting through the colder November and December, producing scarves for Jack, Delilah, and Bishop, whom Gibbs was glad to see Abby had taken a shine to. Even though the hunt for Parsa and their other cases had kept everyone on their toes, the three women had found time to spent time together, outside of work.

Gibbs lit a fire and sat next to Abby, who knitted furiously on the final scarf. He cracked open a book and they sat listening to the crackling fire. It wasn't long before Abby put down her scarf and laid her head in Gibbs' lap, yawning.

"You ok, Abbs?"

"Hmm, good. Just resting my eyes." Gibbs stroked his fingers through her hair, and her eyelids fluttered. "I need to finish my Christmas shopping tomorrow. Come with?"

"Yeah, but early. You know how I feel about crowds."

"Next year we're going to have you shopping on Black Friday."

"Don't think so, babe."

"Even if I begged?" She opened her eyes wide at him.

"You're evil. You know I can't resist you when you look at me like that."

She giggled. "I wouldn't be caught dead shopping on Black Friday."

"So I have nothing to worry about."

"Unless I send you out for me." He glared at her, and she giggled, rolled over so she was lying on top of him, and attacked him with tickles. Not to be undone, he tickled her too until both squirmed so much they fell off the couch. Abby shrieked, and Gibbs silenced her with a deep kiss. She returned his kiss with one that was slow and languid. She gripped his shoulders and wrapped her legs around his back.

The didn't make it upstairs. When Gibbs stood and tried to pull Abby up with him, she instead pulled him down again and commanded him to lie on the pillows on the floor. He let her take control, and she tasted every inch of him. Somewhere along the way she decided that it was time to make _him_ beg, and got her reward when he gasped, "Abbs, _please"_ and she finally relented and made love to him slowly. It felt like hours to them each, and when Abby collapsed on Gibbs he gathered her in and held her tight. He went stiff when he felt her shaking.

"Abby, you're shaking. Did I hurt you?"

"No, you didn't."

"What is is? You can tell me."

"I'm just scare of losing you. You're the most important thing in my life and sometimes I just feel like locking you away so nothing can hurt you."

"You're _not_ going to lose me."

"With Parsa on the loose..."

"Hey." He lifted her chin so she looked at him, and smiled a reassuring smile. "I'll do everything to keep myself and my team safe. Everything to keep you safe."

She nodded and smiled, and relief flooded through him. "Gibbs, I don't know if I've ever said this, but I _do _trust you."

"I know you do."

"Can we go ice skating tomorrow? I always want to go around Christmas but I never have time."

"Anything you want. Anything else you want to do?"

Her eyes lit up. "Go Caroling and drink hot chocolate and cider and go sledding and go to a tree lighting and watch Christmas movies..."

"Slow down." His eyes danced with merriment. "I am looking forward to doing all that with you, but pace yourself."

She yawned widely. "I'm sleepy, Gibbs."

"Are you feeling alright?"

"I'm feeling fine. I really just want to nap in your arms for a while." Abby put back on her yoga pants and Gibbs' Marine long-sleeved shirt she had been wearing, and Gibbs put back on his sweats. He laid on the couch and pulled her down with him. She snuggled against him immediately.

Gibbs made good on his promise to Abby to go with her on all the Christmas outings she wanted, even though the case they caught demanded a good bit of everyone's attention. They went ice skating on a Saturday and invited the team over after for Christmas movies and baking. Gibbs accompanied Abby caroling, and she helped him make toys for the children's hospital. They sent a package of gifts and goodies to Jack, since his favorite cousin and her husband and kids were visiting him for Christmas. Abby helped him make a photo album for him; pictures of Gibbs' mother, his and Jack's extended family, Shannon and Kelly, and the team. The older Gibbs loved pictures, so Gibbs knew he would treasure it. Abby sent on books Jack would love and a warm blanket for the colder winter months.

By Christmas eve their case finished up, and each member of the team scattered to spend much-needed time with their own families. Gibbs planned to take Abby to Midnight Mass. They wound up with some quiet time before it was time to go, and Gibbs fished out a present from under the tree and handed it to Abby.

"I remember that you told me that you got to open one present on Christmas Eve. Open this."

Abby smiled and kissed his cheek in thanks. She tore it open to find cozy pajamas. "Gibbs! How did you know my parents always got me new pajamas Christmas Eve?"

"Luca told me."

At that she squealed with excitement. "I can't wait for Kyle and Luca to come tomorrow! Beth loves Christmas!"

Gibbs felt excited too. He had built Luca's daughter Beth a dollhouse and couldn't wait for her to see it. The spirit of Christmas and Abby's effervescence were doing things to him. He hadn't been excited for Christmas in a while, and this was a nice change. Last week Abby had flown into his house and before he could get a word out she was pleading with him to invite her brothers for just a few hours on Christmas, but she didn't let him get a word in because she kept saying please over and over. Gibbs had to kiss her deeply to get her to quiet, and when he had said he would love to have them all day and for dinner she had shrieked with delight and jumped into his arms. Having her family living so close and made her so happy.

"I'm looking forward to having them over tomorrow, Abby. I know how happy your family makes you."

"_You _make me happy too, Gibbs. Stay there, I have something for you too." She tossed a wrapped gift to him.

Gibbs tore it open and found...pajamas. He roared with laughter. "I see you wanted your family tradition to go on too." The pajamas she had given him were red with the Marine Corps insignia on the pants.

"Promise me you'll wear them tonight."

"Gonna stay in them all day tomorrow. Hope the boys don't mind."

"I'll tell them to wear their pajamas too. They'll love it!"

"You know your family is welcome here anytime, Abbs."

She looked up at him. "Really?"

"Really."

"Gibbs, you're too good to me. When was the last time I told you I loved you?"

"About ten minutes ago. Abbs, I love you too."

The time for Mass came, and Gibbs helped Abby clamber into his truck. She wore a long skirt and heels, and he didn't want her to trip. While he drove, she kept her hand on his shoulder, and took his arm as they entered the church. Sister Rosita gave them both hugs when she saw them before heading off.

"She likes you, Gibbs. She wouldn't hug just anyone." Gibbs just smiled and put his arm around her as she sat. Gibbs hadn't been to a Midnight Mass in a long time and enjoyed it immensely. The beautiful, happy woman standing next to him was a huge part of that; he enjoyed everything more. He squeezed her hand and surreptitiously signed that exact thought to her. He smiled grew even wider. She gripped his hand all through the service and wouldn't let go even when they left for home.

Abby, it transpired, hated to act like it was Christmas even though it was past midnight and said Christmas was to begin only when they woke in the morning. They both donned their new pajamas when they got home, and Abby fell into an exhausted sleep on the couch while Gibbs locked up. He took advantage of that to fill her stocking. She didn't wake, so he carried her upstairs. She planned on waking up earlier than him; her other Christmas family tradition that she had included him in was her family's Christmas breakfast casserole. She had made it after work, and it would go in the oven early in the morning so it would be ready for people to eat while opening presents.

Gibbs didn't wake when she went downstairs to put the casserole in the oven. He roused when he smelled it cooking and he shifted closer to the warm body next to him. Abby tucked her head in his next and sighed.

"Merry Christmas, Abbs. I am so grateful to have you."

"Merry Christmas, Jethro. I love you more than I'll ever be able to say."

"I love you."

She snuggled even closer. "Not ready to get up yet."

"Me either. The casserole smells so good. Can't wait to eat it."

"You're going to love it. Will you make a fire when we go downstairs? I mean, I can do it, but you make 'em better."

"Sure I will."

"You're the best."

"Hmm. You are."

"I can't believe you made Beth such a beautiful dollhouse in such a short time, especially since you spend so much time with me. What's your secret? Are you a superhero?"

"I worked on it when you went out with your friends, or when I couldn't sleep. Doesn't happen a lot, but that helps."

"You should wake me so I can help too."

"I like when you help."

"I like watching you too. I need to get a cozy chair down there."

"We'll look for one, k?"

"Hmm, good."

They lay together for a while before Abby suddenly sat right up and squealed joyously. She yanked on Gibbs' arm until he sat up, and tackle hugged him. It's Christmas, Gibbs!" There are presents for you downstairs! Come on!"

He laughed and stood and let her drag him out of the room and down the stairs. Her loose hair flew behind her. When he entered the living room, he saw that she had filled his stocking too, and he smiled at her, and her eyes shone with tears.

"I am so happy I get to spend Christmas with you, Gibbs. I've loved you for so long and sometimes I have to pinch myself."

"I feel the same way, Abbs. Never thought I could be this happy again." He kissed her deeply before she went to the kitchen to dish them casserole, and he devoured it, and went for seconds. Abby handed him his stocking. He found scratch lotto tickets, a few small tools, chocolates and candies, and a new knife with the Marine Corps logo. Hers was filled with candy, a new choker, and a small stuffed frog. Abby put him on Gibbs' shoulder and took a picture.

They had each gotten a few presents for the other. Abby gave Gibbs a new dress shirt, which was exactly the color of his eyes, and several books Gibbs had wanted. She had also given him a new silver chain for his pocket watch. He had been meaning to get one. His favorite present, though, was a simple red short sleeved T-shirt which bore the Marine Corps logo.

"It's for when it's too hot for you to wear your red hoodie. Now I can still stare at you when you work on the boat in this."

He smiled. "I love it, Abbs."

He had gotten her a slow-cooker cookbook, which she had wanted, and a pair of new boots, which were much smaller than her normal footwear, but they had small silver skulls as the buckles.

"Your other presents are in the basement, Abby." She wasted no time in flying down the stairs, and discovered a large wicker circle chair with comfortable cushioning there. She leaped into Gibbs' arms when she saw it.

"I love it! Thank you!"

"We'll keep it clean from sawdust with some plastic. Look on the chair, Abbs."

She did, and found gold plastic beads. Gibbs picked it up and draped them around her neck.

"What are they for?"

"Remember last year, when we went to New Orleans in the spring? You said you wanted to go back and go to the Mardi Gras parade. I hope they're prepared for us!"

She shrieked and kissed him hard while throwing her arms around him. He grabbed her to steady them both and lifted her off her feet and spun her.

"Thank you thank you thank you!" Abby gasped in between kisses. "Guess what, Gibbs?"

"What?"

"You have one last present waiting outside!"

"Outside, Abby?"

"Hurry! She took off like a shot to beat him to the door, and got behind him when he got there. She covered his eyes with her hands. "No peeking, Gibbs!"

"I wouldn't dare." She giggled and led him outside carefully. When she dropped her hands from his face, he was stunned, and couldn't find the words. There sat...his truck.

Abby had said she would take care of the wreck for him because he was on an overnight case, and when he had gotten back it was gone, and he thought no more of it.

"Abbs, how?"

"I have a friend who is a mechanic. He put a new engine and did some work. Gave me a great deal because I introduced him to his wife."

"I don't know what to say. Abby, you're incredible. I have always loved this truck. My dad gave it to me. I wasn't ready to part with it.

"I know."

"I love you so much, Abby. Thank you. I'll never be able to thank you enough."

"Let's go in, it's freezing." They cuddled by the couch until Abby's brothers showed up at 11, with Beth in tow. The small family had an enjoyable day, opening presents, and eating. Beth loved her dollhouse and wouldn't let go of "Uncle Jethro" for an hour. Gibbs once again marveled at how happy he had become. He had a woman you loved him more than anything, and he had his father back in his life, and he had a large family he would do anything for. For the first time in ages, he was counting his blessings, instead of feeling alone.

At long last, Parsa was dead, Gibbs team was complete with the addition of Bishop, and Gibbs and Abby's relationship had grown even stronger. The weeks after Christmas had tested them, but they came out even closer. Gibbs had had a moment of panic when Hollis Mann had shown up, but Abby had been nothing other than supportive. When Gibbs explained to Abby that when Hollis had left all those years ago, it had brought back feelings of abandonment in Gibbs, and he had felt like his baggage was too much for anyone to carry.

"You know I would never do that to you, Gibbs."

"I know, Abbs."

"She lost out."

"In the end it didn't really matter. My heart never really belonged to her anyway. It was always yours."

"You're a tough one to get over, Gibbs. Hollis probably couldn't stay away, just like Diane can't."

"You think that's it?"

"Well, yeah!"

He laughed. "I'll always be yours."

The elimination of Parsa allowed the team to finally breath, and the cases that followed were met by a renewed vigor and focus. Everyone took the time to gather at Gibbs' house for pizza and to cheer on the Americans during the Olympics. Abby began to try and teach Gibbs to knit, provided she never tell anyone else. Gibbs met Abby's cousins when they came through on their way to Europe for a vacation. Gibbs and Abby took a long weekend to visit Jack to help him have a garage sale. Gibbs parted with a lot of his old stuff, but kept books his mom gave him. It gave him an excuse to build yet another bookcase.

Abby had been beyond excited for another trip to New Orleans, and the time was finally here. Tony had wanted to introduce him to the woman his father wanted to marry, so they all had breakfast together before Gibbs and Abby's flight. Tony had been relieved that everyone took to each other, and by the end of the breakfast when Gibbs and Abby were leaving, he was joking around with Abby and told her to behave herslef, which earned him a soft headslap, but Gibbs was smiling while he did it.

Abby chattered excitedly the whole flight, and Gibbs sat back, relaxed. His girl was so happy to get to visit her home again, and it warmed his heart to see her smile so brightly.

Gibbs had reserved a hotel nearby, so they were able to walk to the parade. He was glad they had packed warmer clothes, because it was bitter cold for New Orleans and the parade was wet. Abby had the time of her life though, and they both had necks full of beads by the end, even though Abby had refrained from flashing anyone.

She dragged him off to a family friends' restaurant after the parade. Julie had been out of town last year during their visit, and Abby wanted to surprise her. Upon entering the packed restaurant, Gibbs heard a shriek immediately and side stepped so a shorter, older woman wouldn't crash into him. The woman gave Abby a huge bear hug, and both started crying. Julie led them into a private room and introductions were made. Soon enough, his stomach was full of gumbo and jambalaya, and Abby was giggling at him. He groaned and asked her why she let him eat so much.

They took the opportunity to do the Bourbon street tourist thing, And Abby, even though she was from the area, had the time of her life. When they got back to the hotel, they both collapsed into deep sleeps, despite the noise outside.

They next day they had a lazy day. They had a late breakfast, and met up with a group of Abby's friends from high school. Each person interrogated Gibbs to make sure he was good enough, but they all left adoring him. Abby persuades Gibbs to go shopping with her after, and they returned loaded down with purchases. Abby bought lots of spices, and had arranged to have okra shipped back to D.C. Gibbs wasn't disappointed; he loved it. Abby did the stuff she loved to do here and missed: ate Louisiana barbeque and drank sweet tea, looked in bookstores, and showed Gibbs her favorite bayou areas. When she asked him if there was anything he would like to do, he nodded.

"I'd like to wake up early and take a walk at Lake Pontchartrain."

She smiled widely. "I used to love doing that! We should go early enough to see the sunrise!"

Gibbs rented a car so they could get there quickly. Abby brought bagels and coffee, any they began walking. When the sun rose, it was one of the most amazing sunrises Gibbs had ever seen. Abby took pictures, several with him in them, before he tugged the camera from her to take pictures with her in them. She took it back and they turned the camera around so they would both be in the picture. They took a few pictures; one with silly faces, one smiling, and one where Gibbs kissed her cheek. When they found a bench, they sat down there and Gibbs put his arm around Abby. She rested her head on his shoulder.

The ground was still wet, and everything smelled so fresh and clean. Gibbs turned so he was facing Abby.

"Thank you for this, Gibbs."

"I'd do anything for you, you know that."

"I do. You're the best. And I hope you know I would do anything for you."

"There is something that..." He trailed off.

"Is something wrong?"

"No. I love you so damn much. I feel like such an idiot for waiting so long to tell you how I felt about you."

"I waited too long too. I'm the idiot."

"You're perfect. I feel like my soul melded with yours when I first met you, even if I didn't know it at the time." Abby put her hand oh his arm. Both his were in his pockets. He drew one hand out to trail down her cheek, and she looked into his eyes and smiled.

"Abby, will you marry me?"

TBC...


End file.
